I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize