Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
