There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize