some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize