She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I forget how to act sober
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize