We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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