First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
