he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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