I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
