Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
