The maid of honor just puked.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear