is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.