Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.