We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
