I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
