We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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