Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
