How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
