**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
