No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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