U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
