Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
