I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize