this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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