Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
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I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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