i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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