Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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