why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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