So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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