He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
