I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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