I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize