Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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