I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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