So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize