Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize