i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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