I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
