i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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