It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
