well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
