Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
North Korea, Best Korea!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
