and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
