i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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