Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize