Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
