I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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