wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
