You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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