His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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