so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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