Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
