on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
