I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
