He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
