is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
