Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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