Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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