Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
