How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My life is pants optional.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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