Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
