We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
