So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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